A Love Hate Relationship kyle X Cartman
by freys.x
Summary: Kyles in love...but with who? Cartmans mums got a mix up, and Bebe...well...shes going out with someone, take a guess at who or read the story...
1. Chapter 1

Kyle X Cartman: A Love Hate Relationship!

Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me but to Trey Parker and Matt Stone.

Rating: NC-17

Summary: A Kyle loves Cartman classic, with a little mix up too.

Chapter 1- New beginnings

It was a snowy winters evening, Kyle stood by the lake, dreaming, he wondered if he was ever going to find the one. He'd never had a proper girlfriend, and as he sat there, he asked quietly to himself "It's because I'm Jewish, isn't it God?"Of course he wouldn't get a reply, what was the point in asking, he couldn't see into the future, for all he knew he was going to die lonely.

In school the next day Kyle felt something when his three best friends Stan, Kenny and Cartman walked into class, something different, he'd never felt it before, it was for a certain person. He looked at Stan, nothing, he looked at Kenny, again nothing, he looked at Butters, Clyde and Token. Everyone. All of them but one, Cartman. He looked straight at him like you look at a cute puppy.

"Hey Jew what do you want?" Taunted Cartman."Oh…nothing…just staring at the wall" Replied Kyle.

"Ha Ha Ha look guys, must be some new Jewish thing" Cartman pointed at Kyle, he was still looking at the wall in case of another religious insult from Cartman. He couldn't bear to look at him, he was…in love.

"No dude…something's wrong…I know that look" said Stan, staring at Kyle.

"Yeah! Looks like you two still have a little thing going on Ha Ha Ha" Taunted Cartman.

"Shut up fat boy!" Shouted Stan, you could see the anger in his eyes.

"I'm not fat I'm just big boned!" replied Cartman.

It was the end of school, Kyle waited by the front steps for Cartman; he had to tell him, he'd probably get bullied for the rest of his life. But these were his feelings, and he didn't want Stan involved, that's for sure.

Cartman waddled down the steps trying to chat up the girls that stood there; they merely just laughed and gave him a look that said: 'In your dreams fat boy!'

"Hey! Hey Cartman can I talk to you?" asked Kyle.

"Sorry Kyle I'm chatting up the ladies, Bebe so wants me, she's awesome fit dude" said Cartman, like he was being all funny when really Kyle just stood there and stared into his eyes.

"Dude she called you fat in class then kicked you in the balls, there aint' no way in hell she 'wants' you" Kyle said, quite a good come back for such an innocent child.

"Anyway dude this is serious, I think…I think…I think I'm in…love" said Kyle, he said it in confidence, but he should have known what Cartman would do…

"Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha", Cartman was literally rolling on the floor clutching his stomach with laughter "Ha ah Ha Ha, whose the….Ha Ha…chick dude?" said Cartman in mid laughter.

"It's not a…chick…" said Kyle, slowly, but confidently.

"What…?" asked Cartman, he had his worried face on, like when he's lost money.

"It's you dude, when I see you, you light up the sky, you're my heaven, my love, my glory, my sun, my moon. I love you; I've never felt this way." Said Kyle in triumph.

"Look dude I'm all with being gay but me going with…a ginger Jew with an afro, I mean seriously!" said Cartman, being his normal self, and bullying the different one.

Kyle looked at Cartman, disappointment in his eyes. He felt his eyes on the brink of tears.

So Kyle ran, he ran far, Cartman just stood there his books under his arm.

_Maybe…I do kinda. He is sort of…He's got a….no! W__hat am I on about this is Kyle.__ Thought Cartman. _

Each pace led Kyle further away from the beast named 'his love', his heart longed for him but Kyle restrained it, the power of love, he was pushing it, down right down, deep in him ready to come out when he saw that special face again.

The next day Kyle laid on his bed, he was singing about Cartman, although he had called him names and almost destroyed his heart, he was still in love.

"I will not stop; I will not stop lovin' you, oh baby when I see ya' you're that bright star in my way! Sang Kyle.

"Kyle?" shouted his mother up the stairs.

"Yes mum?" shouted Kyle back.

"Is someone there?" she replied, with a worried voice.

"No…? Why?" said Kyle.

"Oh…I just thought I heard a voice that's all dear." Said Kyle's mum.

"Okay mum, I'm fine, just watching TV that's all." Shouted Kyle, he then rolled his eyes, and sang the last line "Oh baby your mine…"

"Okay sweetie" replied his mum, for the last time.

I'm getting the hang of this, and I think it's a good story so far.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: The Date

Kyle sat on his bed, he wondered. He didn't know what to do, Cartman had been rude and obnoxious to him, and yet he still loved him. He picked up the phone, dialled his number, and waited as it rang…

"Hello?" said Cartmans mum as she answered the phone.

"Hi, is Cartman there?" questioned Kyle.

"Yes, he's watching Terrance and Phillip; I'll go get him for you. Stay on the phone" replied his mum.

"Eric? Eric sweetie Kyle's on the phone!" called his mum.

"Agghh, not that Jew rat son of a bitch again!" moaned Cartman. "I'll be there in a sec" said Cartman, finishing the last scraps of his cheesy poofs.

"Okay, I'll leave the phone on the worktop for you" replied his mum, and then walked away.

Cartman jumped off the sofa and walked over to the phone. He then picked it up.

"What do you want Jew?" asked Cartman.

"Well…It's sort of…I was wondering…if you…" muttered Kyle.

"If I what? For fuck sake Kyle I haven't got all day, Terrance and Phillip are on again in 5 minutes. So make it quick!" shouted Cartman.

"Will you go out with me?" said Kyle really quickly.

"Umm…dude? You're really serious about this whole liking my thing aren't you? You actually are gay!" asked Cartman.

"Please, I really feel that this could work, do you?" questioned Kyle.

"Well it could…I'll go out with you tomorrow, we'll see how it goes, okay?" said Cartman confidently.

"Okay! It's a date!" said Kyle, he was overjoyed, and he had tears of happiness in his eyes!

"Where do you want to go?" asked Cartman. "Raisins?" He said it with joy.

"No, we're gay we can't be seen there, after all it's only for boys that want to stare at young girls only interested in turning on boys, and being whores!" detested Kyle.

"Fine, we'll go to McDonalds, the foods the same" said Cartman.

"No! It's our first date, we need somewhere…romantic" said Kyle in a dreamy voice, with a romantic sigh at the end.

"Ugh. Fine. La Quason it is, they have pizza there right?" said Cartman.

"Umm…yeah! It's an Italian restaurant!" said Kyle, pretending Cartman was stupid for not knowing.

"Okay, well I'm going to go, Terrance and Phillip are on" said Cartman in a rush to watch it. "Bye!" he said, then hung up.

"Bye…umm…love you…" muttered Kyle. Unluckily for him, Cartman, as usual. Had gone.

It was the night of their date, Kyle was in the shower singing, he had never been so happy!

"I'm singing in the rain, what a glorious feeling, la la la la la la da da da da da daaaa…" sang Kyle.

He got out the shower, dried off and then put on his extra special after shave (although he didn't shave, je loved the smell). He got dressed, went downstairs and waited.

Ding Dong!

"He's here! He's here!" said Kyle with excitement.

"Gosh! You're certainly getting excited over a trip to see

Cartmans cousin, he must be nice." Said Kyle's mum.

"Umm…yeah…he is!" said Kyle. Then rushed out the door with no goodbyes.

_Kyle had lied to his family; he had told them that __Cartman__ was going to take him out to dinner with his cousins, because he was allowed a friend to come along._

"Wow, isn't this restaurant beautiful" said Kyle.

"Yeah…I sure hope the foods the same" moaned Cartman.

Kyle reached out to Cartmans hands, he held them in his.

"You know Cartman, your beautiful…" complimented Kyle.

"Err…yeah sure…whatever…" said Cartman, who was blushing from the embarrassment.

They ordered their food. Then chatted for a while about friends, family, toys etc…

When the food came they stopped, and as usual while Cartman was eating he didn't say a thing, Kyle couldn't get a word in without him say "Shh…eating".

Afterwards they stood outside the restaurant.

"I had a great night you know Kyle" said Cartman.

"Yeah, I didn't no you could actually be so nice to me, I mean you even paid for the dinner, which you didn't have to do" said Kyle.

"Oh it was nothing, really" replied Cartman.

"Okay then, bye! I'll see you at school" said Kyle.

"Yeah, bye. Whatever you do don't tell Stan!" warned Cartman.

"I won't, promise" said Kyle.

He then walked closer to Cartman.

"There's just one thing before you go…" said Kyle.

"What is it?" asked Cartman.

Then before he knew it Kyle gave him a kiss on the lips, they were both blushing, but you could tell that secretly…they liked it.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Just 50 Dollars Meem

It was Monday morning; Kyle was on his way to school, walking with Stan as usual. Kyle had his head down; he was dragging his feet along like he was sad. Although inside he was jumping for joy, remembering the kiss he had last night!

"Kyle is there something you're not telling me?" asked Stan as they walked.

"No…why?" replied Kyle.

"Well your never around, we usually go round each others houses on Sunday nights, you said you were busy yesterday." Said Stan.

"Oh, that…yeah I were" said Kyle.

"Okay then, I was just a little confused that's all" replied Stan.

That was all they said until they got in to school, Kyle was quite silent because he knew Stan was on to him. The last thing he wanted was for Stan to see them together; it would break his heart, and their friendship.

They arrived in the classroom, the girls were gossiping and laughing, the boys were swearing and shouting. Then in came the teacher.

"Good morning children please take your seats" announced Mr. Garrison.

They all sat down and eagerly waited for the first lesson of the day.

"Okay children today we're going to start with science" said Mr. Garrison.

"Science! What? I hate this bull crap!" shouted out Cartman.

"Now Eric I don't want any of you comments" warned Mr. Garrison.

"Suck my balls teach' I'll do whatever the fuck I want" said Cartman, answering back as usual.

"You do not speak to me like that!" shouted Mr. Garrison, by now he was getting very angry "Go to the principles office, right now!"

"Fine, its better than your crappy science class any day, you gay son of a bitch!" replied Cartman, as he walked out the door.

The door slammed behind him and he walked or to the principles office muttering under his breath.

_Stupid __son of a bitch! Sending me to the principles office, who the fuck does he think he is! I'll show him! Wait, he might tell my mum, I can't have that .Oh what the heck revenge must be taken!_

Later that evening Cartman was at home playing with his dolls in the basement. He wanted so badly to take revenge on Mr. Garrison, but how?

"Mum, can you bring me some Cheesy Poofs?" Cartman shouted up the basement stairs.

"But sweetie you've already had 4 packets tonight, I don't think your fat little tummy needs any more!" replied his mum.

"But meeeem I need some more Cheesy Poofs!" shouted Cartman, in his wanting squeaky voice.

"Oh alright, but no more after this hun'" said his mum, she then handed him a packet.

"Thank you meeeem!" said Cartman.

Later that evening Cartman wondered in to the kitchen where his mum was doing some paper work.

"Umm…meeeem…could you do me a favour?" asked Cartman.

"Well, it depends what it is?" replied his mum.

"Could I have $50.00?" asked Cartman.

"What and earth for?" said his mum.

"Umm…for my…boyfriend…" said Cartman, he spoke much quieter on the word boyfriend.

"You've got a girlfriend, oh how lovely, I'm going to let you have the money, but if you want to spend lots on her you must earn your own, okay?" said his mum with joy.

"Yeah…girlfriend, I promise I'll try to find a job, I want to I really do, but with school and all…it's hard" said Cartman.

"You'll find a way hun'" said his mum in a sweet voice.

She gave him the money, and then carried on doing her paper work. Cartman went to the phone to ring Kyle. He dialled the number and waited…he was going to surprise him with the best date ever!


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: My Big Fat Cartman Date

Kyle was asked to meet Cartman at the lake. He didn't know what it was going to be, but Cartman wasn't really thought of as the romantic type. Kyle didn't care though; he loved him, what was going to stop that. Nothing.

The night was silent as Kyle walked; he heard the owls hooting, and little animals running about. The wind blew in his face, it was bitter and cold, and so he wrapped his scarf tightly round his neck and mouth. His little ginger curls kept blowing out his hat and covered his eyes. But each step leads him closer to the lake.

Kyle looked into the darkness by the lake, he then saw a small fire burning, and then he saw a very familiar face sitting by it.

"Cartman?" asked Kyle looking in the direction of him.

"Kyle you're here!" replied Cartman "come sit down".

"Yeah sure" said Kyle as he started to walk over to him.

"I didn't know if you were going to come, it's a cold night I thought your mum would tell you to stay in" said Cartman.

"That's exactly what she said, ha, but I told her it was important" replied Kyle.

"Aww, you really care, just like I do" said Cartman; he had sweetness in his voice, something you don't normally get from him.

"…Yeah…sure…I do…" muttered Kyle.

"We're going to have the best night Kyle, I've got it all planned out. First we're going to have a BBQ, then we're going to sail the boat around the lake with music, and then maybe camp out. I told my mum I'm sleeping over Stan's, and my mums said the same to your mum for you" said Cartman, he had real excitement in his voice.

"Oh, wow you really have planned this out haven't you, but I have no pyjamas or anything" worried Kyle.

"Don't worry, we're going to sleep under the stars baby!" said Cartman in joy.

"Oh wow…" said Kyle.

"Come on, lets eat!" said Cartman.

"Okay, what is there?" asked Kyle.

"I got burgers, hotdogs, chips, beans, chicken, cheesy poofs, ice cream, chocolate" listed Cartman.

"No salad?" asked Kyle.

"No"

"No vegetables?"

"No, only beans, meat and sweets" said Cartman.

"Okay, I'll have a hotdog and some beans please" said Kyle.

"Sure thing" said Cartman.

He got the pan of beans and gave him 3 huge spoonfuls then gave him 3 hotdogs, each with buns, mustard, ketchup, and relish.

"Whoa, I won't eat all this" said Kyle.

"Sure you will!" said Cartman.

They ate their dinner, and weirdly Kyle did eat it all! But as usual Cartman had a lot more than him!

"Boat time I'd say, what about you?" asked Cartman.

"Yeah sure!" said Kyle.

They got in the boat, it wobbled around a bit but then settled, Cartman put some love music on and they sailed around the lake for half an hour. They then stopped rowing, the boat was right in the centre of the lake, they leaned forward and their lips touched, they wrapped their arms around each other and snogged.

They were kissing so much that they fell over in the boat; they were rolling in the boat kissing. It rocked side to side.

"Whoa Cartman where did you learn to kiss like that?" asked Kyle in amazement.

"I don't know?" said Cartman.

They rowed the boat back to the small dock by the lake, then got out the boat and walked back to the fire.

"Gosh, it's midnight!" said Cartman.

"Yeah, I'm tired" said Kyle.

"Me too, let's get in to our sleeping bag" replied Cartman.

"Only one sleeping bag" asked Kyle.

"Yeah, sorry we only have a double" said Cartman.

"Its cool dude" said Kyle.

They got into the sleeping bag, Cartman started unbuttoning his coat, Kyle saw what he was doing and did the same. They hung all their clothes by the fire. They laid in the sleeping bag staring at each other.

"Shall we get started then?" asked Kyle.

"Umm…I don't know what to do, your not a girl" replied Cartman.

"Maybe I…no…maybe you put…naah… but maybe" said Kyle, wondering how.

"I know! Turn over on to your back Kyle" said Cartman.

"Okay…" said Kyle, a bit scared.

"Now I put this in here…" said Cartman, he was struggling to get it in "there, that okay for you?"

"Oww! Move it a little" asked Kyle.

Cartman did what he said, but pushed it in further coz he liked it.

"Oh yeah…That's good baby!" said Kyle, really enjoying it.

"Yeah, you wanna swap me below?" asked Cartman.

"Okay" said Kyle, so they swapped.

They were at it like rabbits for an hour, they loved it, it was there first bumming.

They finally stopped, then sat there panting.

"Wow!" said Kyle

"Yeah…Wow!" replied Cartman.

Morning came…

They packed all their stuff up and walked home, they had had the best night ever, and they were only 8 years old.


End file.
